Careful what you wish for

So what if I told you that I have found the holy grail? I could promise you that you'll never be hungry again, and that, eventually, the very notion of food would repulse you. What if I told you that you WILL lose weight, finally, because you will eventually end up drinking Ensure protein drinks and living on a measly chicken and rice dish a day. What if I told you that after years of carrying so much weight that you don't even recognize yourself, you could be the thinner you that you've always wanted to be? Would you want to do it?

Cause there is, of course, a catch. Sure, you'd have your hunger under control, but that would require never knowing what a vicious attack might come on (full of stomach spasms that are so severe each time that you contemplate the ER, diarrhea that would test even the most diligent scatological humorist and fatigue that would flatten a truck driver). You'd lose friends, your relationship with your daughter, possibly your job, because you are so sick all the time. And since this "illness" doesn't really have a diagnosis, maybe, if you're lucky, people will doubt that you're sick at all. Would that be worth it, I mean, to lose weight?

The reason I ask, of course, is that I think every overweight person does wish for a miracle cure. "If only I just wasn't that hungry!" we think. "If only the very notion of food made me sick" -- this one is especially interesting, because that's what hypnosis for weight loss does, right? It makes the idea of eating gross. But then it happened.

So now, as I drink my magnesium citrate in preparation for yet another x-ray tomorrow, I ponder the weight loss. Don't get me wrong. I love this side effect. But it comes at a huge, huge price. 

Comments

[Jennifer]

I have read your blogs, and I can't help seeing all of my symptoms in them. I, too, went through test after test, and they were all normal. I finally found a good doctor who diagnosed me with Ampulla of vater-duodenal wall spasms. One of those 'rare' conditions that doesn't show up on standard tests. Might be worth checking out. I'm much better today than I was five months ago (I was bed-ridden). You can google the term and a couple of studies come up that you can read through and see if it fits. Or you can check out my blog about 'IBS or something else' to summarize. I'd hate to see you continue to suffer if that turns out to be what it is. Good luck!

[robin]

Hey Jennifer: Thanks so much for your comment. I've been tested for so much f-ing stuff, I'm not sure if that was one of them. I will talk to my doctor about it.

So glad that you're feeling better. I'm at my wits' end. :(

robin